Happy Festivus!

The holidays. Full of commercialism, trying to awkwardly skirt around religious convos based on what you celebrate during this time of the month,  and hoping your co worker doesn’t bring a whack ass fruit cake to the company party.

But in 1997, we were introduced to a holiday by the patron saint of anger, Frank Constanza, father of George, the anxious one. It was a holiday that would bring family together for things other than the money, the greed, and the presents.

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A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!

Festivus starts off with a gathering of the family to air your grievances from the past year. Since I’m away from family, I decided to celebrate this year by airing out how I’ve felt about a few things in pop culture and my life this year.

 

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I GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU PEOPLE AND YOU’RE GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT TODAY!

Rihanna

I love her, with all of my heart but damnit, where’s the music?! She keeps avoiding us by wearing these amazing Savage by Fenty pieces and bathrobes while smoking the finest cannabis. We watch her everyday on Instagram be amazing meanwhile, I’m still listening to ‘Anti’ talking about “didn’t they tell you I was savage” after three years. I’m happy for her getting money in different avenues but I can only listen to ‘Breakin’ Dishes’ so many times before I give up.

LET THE ALBUM GO!

Reboots

I’m fed up. I’m not impressed and I’m in overload. If I see one more reincarnation, remake, or remix, I’m gonna scream. There were the highpoints, I enjoyed the reimagining of ‘Boomerang’ and even all of the ‘Black-ish’ universes, even though they’re dominated by light skins. But other than those few, I’m truly over this trend and just hope people decide to be original. Let’s give budgets to new stories and fresh concepts because I’ll be damned if they try to bring back ‘Family Matters’, I will literally set ABC on fire.

Traffic

Living in LA, I have even more of a hate for people in their cars. Being from Cleveland, a little traffic on 90W is nothing compared to being stuck on a bus on the 405. WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE AND WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU GOING AT THE SAME TIME?! I hope whatever they decide on the shift of trying to make this place a commuter city works out because this sis is TIREDT!

Frank Ocean

You ever been so mad at somebody because they’re just that good? I’m annoyed at the fact he can write so well. It’s like he has this switch in his head that can express every emotion humanly possibly with words. Feeling sad? Feeling happy? Feeling drunk? Feeling sexy but emo at the same time? There’s literally a song for you, every trip. I want to write like him but I also don’t because I can’t fathom having all of those emotions at once. But also, which brings me to my next issue.

Laina Lovestein

Sis, you take too long to write. You get off work, go eat snacks and scroll on IG and bullshit. You watch ‘Rick & Morty’, get faded, and come up with these ideas but never sit back and draft. You jump into projects, get excited, then blame your sleepiness on the fact you never put pen to page. This month though, you did pretty well. Congrats and shit on the site, but if you don’t produce, you’re wasting your money on a Squarespace site. Do better next year, and stick to the plan.

Rich White People

Ya’ll get on my nerves. That’s it, that’s my beef.

Kanye West

Brother, you really showed out this year. And though I no longer have beef because you loving the Lord, chillin, and happy, but I just want you to tour. I don’t care if you have to make clean versions of every song and have Creflo Dollar come out on stage, I just need a show. You still didn’t give us the Kids See Ghost tour and we didn’t get the second round of Pablo shows like we were supposed to. I get it, you were going through things but I think it’s time. The Bible plays are cool and all but I think it’s time to just go back to the drawing board. Your fans need another spectacular like Pablo or Glow in The Dark. IT IS TIME!

Kids

I’m tired of ya’ll running me over at the mall. Why ya’ll not in school? Why are your Air Force One’s so dirty? Why do you take so many pictures while eating Chick-fi-A? GET OUT OF THE WAY SO I CAN GET MY LEMONADE!

I truly hope ya’ll enjoy your holidays and get in the spirit of Festivus because we gotta continue to let our emotions out. Pick those bones and start the next year off fresh.

 



 

 

 

We Can Be Both: A Black Comedy Perspective

A  word that’s been flying around for the past few years as it relates to media is representation. It’s been amazing seeing the different projects pop up, showcasing Black talent and telling stories in various ways. From TV shows like ‘Insecure’, ‘Black Lightening’, and ‘All American’ to movies like ‘When They See Us’, and ‘Queen & Slim’ (which I haven’t seen yet because movies are expensive af in LA, don’t judge  me).  It really has been amazing too see but, something has been missing.

‘Everybody Hates Chris’, premiered on UPN, 2005

‘Everybody Hates Chris’, premiered on UPN, 2005

In a post First Lady Michelle Obama America, I think all of us Black people collectively felt the need to hold ourselves to a higher standard. Which I absolutely have no problem with. Wanda Sykes has this hilarious but true joke about the fact we must watch ourselves around non POCs. “Don’t let them see you dancing”. Yes, in the year of our Lord 2019 going on 2020, we still feel the need to not shuck and jive in front of white people. “Stop coonin” used to be something I’d say about certain entertainers across my screen for a very long time. Until one day, I said why the hell not?

‘A Black Lady Sketch Show’, premiered on HBO, 2019

‘A Black Lady Sketch Show’, premiered on HBO, 2019

In the world of comedy, non POCs are open to express themselves however they want. From shows like ‘Jackass’, to ‘Ridiculousness’ (damn, MTV, ya’ll stupid), these frat boys are able to do the most out of pocket things for laughs. I sat back one day and thought, “Why aren’t we allowed to do this?” Because, we can’t act out of pocket like that. We’re not allowed to.

As a fan of comedy, it was hard for me to relate to certain films in these last few years because I felt a lot of projects just featured the token. As much as I love Judd Apatow films and TV shows, I rarely see someone that looks like me. Sure, Kevin Hart & Craig Robinson pop up, but that’s it. Kevin Hart has fell into the lane of the action/comedy star in the lineage of Eddie, Martin, & Jamie. It has been dope to watch but even I think he gets put into a box.

‘Insecure’, premiered on HBO, 2016

‘Insecure’, premiered on HBO, 2016

I’m a fan of smart humor. It doesn’t have to totally go over your head but it has to be a little sharp. One of the first Black comedians I saw with that kind of humor was Chris Rock. He would weave jokes perfectly highlighting current events and throw cultural references in only we could understand but in turn find ways to communicate it well to others. It was universal yet personal. He was the loud mouth cousin who went to college and came back home telling you about all the things he’s learned.

“Everybody Hates Chris” was the one of the few shows on UPN that didn’t coon it up, and I was pleased about it. It had, again, relatable stories for US but also tales of childhood that could be understood across the board. It was a critical darling and lasted four seasons. For a long time though, we didn’t have much else in that vein.

‘The Carmichael Show’, premiered on NBC, 2015

‘The Carmichael Show’, premiered on NBC, 2015

When ‘Atlanta’ premiered in 2016 on the network FX, I was enamored. I had been a fan of Donald Glover for a few years at that point and was familiar with his brand of humor. While attending New York University, he was a part of Derrick Comedy, a troupe that has gained about 100 million viewers on YouTube. They were basically one of the granddaddies on YouTube along with the cat videos and the chocolate rain dude. Derrick Comedy was definitely frat boy humor, but it was witty so I let it rock. Their film ‘Mystery Team’ featured them running around basically as 18 year olds with arrested development issues, solving crimes around their neighborhood. It was cute for what it was but just that, cute. ‘Atlanta’ was not Derrick Comedy and Donald Glover was not that kid a NYU anymore.

‘Atlanta’ was a Black show. So Black in fact that two of the main characters, Darius & Alfred aka Paperboi, were singing Cheryl Lynn’s ‘Encore’ in their car waiting on the plug to pull up. Also, how Black is two cousins from the city of Atlanta trying to make it in the rap game? It had interesting plot lines, great writing, and things that just made me go “What the fuck just happened?”. It was a living, breathing, smart, cartoon pretty much. I’ve never seen that in a show, a Black show at that. For the first time I saw characters being silly, angry, scared, nervous, funny, and Black, all at once. Revolutionary. The show has been placed on this pedestal in modern television and is heralded as one of the best shows on TV right now.

‘Atlanta’, premiered on FX, 2016

‘Atlanta’, premiered on FX, 2016

This provided a renaissance sort of speak. We saw creators like Issa Rae, Kenya Barris, and Jerrod Carmichael rise in the genre and tell their stories their way. Issa Rae was open about the fact she’s never seen a Black Liz Lemon, who was Tina Fey’s character on ’30 Rock’. We can see her character in HBO’s ‘Insecure’ bumble around, figure things out and be adorable. The privilege that a lot of white women get to be on screen. On NBC’s ‘The Carmichael Show’, we were able to see a seasoned vet in stand up, Tiffany Haddish, be her authentic self. Nakeisha was such a fun character to watch because she was what most would describe ‘ghetto’ but exhibited awareness and could hold her own in all conversations. From politics and women’s rights , Nakeisha had an answer. Nuanced, sharp, relatable, this is what was missing from comedy with our people and these creators are now providing all those things. Network heads are now understanding that we are marketable in the genre. We have recently been able to see stories and different things that I never thought I’d see on television and film.

I became familiar with Diallo Riddle from another show I loved on NBC, ‘Marlon’ starring the legendary Marlon Wayans. Riddle played the highly educated lovable loser, Stevie. Last spring, I read that he and Bashir Salahuddin had two pilots picked up and were set to start during the summer television schedule. ‘Southside’ premiered on Comedy Central July 24th 2019, and my mind was blown. It was about a team at a Rent-A-Center esque store on the southside of Chicago and it’s very, very funny. Even though I’m not from Chicago, I know my friends love for mild sauce from Harold’s. It was spot on authentic.

‘Sherman’s Showcase’, premiered on IFC, 2019

‘Sherman’s Showcase’, premiered on IFC, 2019

The other show that was set to premiere was ‘Sherman’s Showcase’. It premiered on the Independent Film Channel on July 31st, 2019. The show was described in the vein of ‘Soul Train’, ‘In Living Color’, & ‘American Bandstand’. It was the perfect blend of Black comedy and Black music. You could tell they had a blast shooting these episodes. Sherman (imagine a fried version of Don Cornelius) was the host of the show that spawned from the 70s to present. It jumps through eras of music with performers reminiscent of Anita Baker, James Brown, Blondie, Mary J Blige, and Prince. One of my favorite skits in the show was an Ocean’s 11 esque heist movie with Motown Legends planning to rob Barry Gordy. Both shows have been picked up for second seasons. I can’t wait to see Riddle & Salahuddin’s stars rise as time goes on.

This past week, Kenya Barris, leader of the ‘Blackish’ universe, premiered ‘Astronomy Club’ on Netflix. It’s in the vein on ‘In Living Color’ but imagine if Keenan went to an HBCU. It is again, a very funny show but highlighting its performers in a light that most don’t get to see. The writing is crazy quirky and authentic. I was too tired marathon when I watched last night but my next day off, I will totally consume it all. Barris recently secured a Netflix development deal, so to see this be the first thing he’s created, I know the rest of the work will push the envelope.

‘Astronomy Club’, premiered on Netflix, 2019

‘Astronomy Club’, premiered on Netflix, 2019

I have a goal of writing my own comedy show one day and to see writers and creators proving to the public that we can be funny, Black, witty, silly, all at once, makes me happy. I spent years watching things like ‘Seinfeld’, ’30 Rock’, and countless Judd Apatow projects not seeing myself and now at almost 30 years old I can. Let’s keep supporting these Black creatives and showing them that we are proud of the work they are putting out. It’s safe to finally be silly in front of white people, damnit, we’ve earned it.

 

Drake, March 14th, & the Only Child Syndrome.

This piece was originally published June 29, 2018 on Medium.com/@lainalovestein

“Yesterday morning was crazy. I had to come to terms with the fact that it’s not a maybe. That shit is in stone.”

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Last night, or morning, however you choose to look at it, one of the Gods of the summer came out of hiding. Aubrey Graham released his much anticipated fifth solo album, ‘Scorpion’. I had an early day so I was up before the crack of dawn, browsing through the project.

I must admit, I have a bit of a short attention span, so I wasn’t quite ready to dive into the 20+ song tracklist. I skimmed over to Side B of the project. I called it the ‘Songs for Women’ section of the album. Going through it, I got the songs I expected. I’ve been listening to Drake in the summer for almost 10 years. He gives off a specific vibe that you’re already prepared for, but you still want to listen. He always has one that grabs your feelings by the neck, hold it gently, and whispers in your ear.

But once I got to the last song, I didn’t feel the need to text my fiancé in an emotional state, saying how much I missed him. This time, I was walking through my apartment making sure I grabbed my birth control pills because I got scared.

The song ‘March 14th’ closes out the album in a fashion that I personally wasn’t prepared for.

If you’re familiar with the verbal sparring match that happened between Drake and fellow rapper Pusha T earlier this month, you’re probably already familiar with the song, ‘The Story of Adidon’

The Story of Adiddon DAYTONA out now https://pushat.lnk.to/DAYTONA

the song (embedded above), discussed multiple things surrounding drake, his racial identity, ghostwriting shots, and even his dad. but what was most surprising of all was what was revealed in the song. here’s a bit of the lyrics:

“since you name-dropped my fiancée. let ’em know who you chose as your beyoncé. sophie knows better, ask your baby mother. cleaned her up for IG, but the stench is on her a baby’s involved, it’s deeper than rap
we talkin’ character, let me keep with the facts. you are hiding a child, let that boy come home. deadbeat mothafucka, playin’ border patrol, ooh
adonis is your son”

naturally, the internet blew up. this was scandal. so many jokes, memes, and even podcasts poked fun at the situation. here’s a clip from the popular show, ‘the read’.

The entire time, Drake was silent. There was no rebuttal, no tweet, no Instagram posts, nothing. Eventually the situation was ‘deescalated’ but an OG call by the legendary J.Prince, of Rap-A-Lot Records. He’s also the father of Jas Prince, the man who had a hand in discovering Drake and giving his music to Cortez Bryant of Young Money Records.

I for one, didn’t know who or what to believe. I always made jokes about Drake being ‘community penis’ but who was I to really pay attention to this man and his love life. Let alone his personal business about bringing a child into this world. I tuned out of those conversations but still giggled at the jokes I saw on the internet.

But here I was, a month later after the Pusha song drops, listening to ‘March 14th’, nearly in tears at what I was hearing.

If you listen to Drake’s music, you know that he’s never shied away from discussing his childhood. He was an only child, as well as the product of a single mon and a here and there father.

In ‘14th,’ he states:
“I used to challenge my parents on every album. Now I’m embarrassed to tell them I ended up as a co-parent. Always promised the family unit. I wanted it to be different because I’ve been through it”

I could related to Drake’s childhood woes because I was one of those kids. Wondering sometimes why your parents weren’t together or how it would be to have the traditional parenting situation. I was lucky to gain amazing bonus parents though, so luckily I did see healthy familial bonds formed. But when you didn’t witness the traditional family growing up, sometimes you have this sense of fear that you won’t give that to your kids and that’s scary.

I vividly remember crying one day, telling my fiancé how happy I was that I would be able to give my future child something I’ve never had. That solid foundation with both biological parents in the household. No divorces, no drama, and no issues that I would place on my future kid because they saw mom and dad were there.. Both together and happy.

But this wouldn’t be the case for Baby Graham. At least that’s how Drake describes it. I got emotional because every line of explanation, you hear regret for the lack of stability he could provide. He spoke about the situation with the child’s mom and the fact that he would be repeating the same cycle with his son.
He goes on to say:
“I don’t want you to worry about who’s house you live at or who loves you more or who’s not there. Who did what to who ‘fore you got here”

If I had to give Drake advice, I would say this:

We are not our parents. We aren’t their mistakes. We aren’t their problems and we don’t have to do things how they did it. A lot of people from no so great homes have this running fear that they won’t be able to provide the love and care for their future kids because they don’t even know how healthy homes operate.

The beauty of new little lives is that they are here and just ready to receive the love from their parents. They don’t know the issues, the scandals, or the fights that happened along the way. They just know mom and dad and they know they they’re loved.

Even though I’m not one, I see the beauty of being a parent and the fact that you’re contributing to building the foundation of this little life and it’s up to you to make sure they know healthy and happy love. Just because they parents aren’t together, doesn’t mean it’s doomed.

Kids are a blessing, and even though there are times when you don’t think you have it in you to be the best for them, you do. Those abilities are there, and the love and strength will only get stronger.

Happy Father’s Day, Drake.

 

The Day I Activated My Membership for the BEYhive

This piece was originally published December 13, 2018 on Medium.com/@LainaLovestein

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There are a lot of fandoms in the world. I don’t subscribe to many, but I can name a few:

Whatever Kanye nerds call themselves

The Mocha Grandes? (Or Ponytails, that’s cute)

The small group of Black folk who love ‘Seinfeld’

The Almighty Beyhive

 

Beyonce’ has been a part of my memories in music for as long as I can remember. My mother bought me ‘Writings on the Wall’ for Christmas of 99’ and I danced around my room to ‘Bills, Bills, Bills’ like I had a car note waiting to get paid. I sung ‘Say My Name’ as if I knew the actual meaning of the song. And ‘Confessions’ made me raise my brow because it was so drama filled.

‘Dangerously in Love’ was blasted in my home for years, literally years. My mom was the original Beyonce’ stan once she went solo. ‘B’Day’ was played while I was getting ready for my sophomore homecoming. The double album with Sasha & the ballads was played on our road trip to South Carolina for Thanksgiving. And ‘4’, ah ‘4’. There for me when I was in my first true blue relationship. ‘1+1’ made me ugly cry.

So yes, I have always knew the magic of our Creole Wonderwoman. But on this day, in 2013, something appeared on my laptop and I was confused. The site where I used to get my music from posted a link for a Beyonce’ album along with two fan made Chance the Rapper mixtapes. I was obviously skeptical if it was real. I checked Twitter, and the legitimacy was confirmed. I immediately downloaded. Beyonce’ fifth solo album was here and ready to make some noise.

“I don’t at all have any shame about being sexual. And I’m not embarrassed about it and I don’t feel like I have to protect that side of me because I do believe sexuality is a power that we all have.” (Beyonce’, 2013)

 

The first song I heard was ‘Drunk In Love’ because it was trending. It was so fresh. We didn’t hear songs like this from Beyonce’. It was minimal yet bold, it was a different kind of flow. It was also very, very, sexy. So sext to the point when Jay started talking about slanging Eastwood, I covered my ears. This was married peoples business and we were able to hear it all, front and center.

Wink, Wink.

Wink, Wink.

 

Songs like ‘Partition’ and ‘Rocket’ showed a different side of her. This was a woman owning herself. Owning her body. With lyrics like “I can’t wait till I get home you can turn that cherry out”, it was apparent she was also a woman owning her own orgasms.

My friend and I discuss as women, specific periods of sexual awakenings. I’m very sure the release of this album contributed to the final levels of mine. Well, hopefully not final. I heard when you turn 30, it gets even better. Now that I think about it, that’s probably what Beyonce’ was experiencing. Being a grown ass woman and taking power in her own hands. I felt empowered singing along to ‘Blow’ and knowing exactly what she was talking about. This was indeed a grown woman album.

Heyyyy, Mrs.Carter!

Heyyyy, Mrs.Carter!

 

“I felt like I don’t want anybody to give the message when my record is coming out. I just want this to come out when it’s ready, and from me to my fans” (Beyonce’, 2013)

 

If you didn’t know, this self-titled Beyonce album was a complete surprise to us all at the exact same time. I think the only inkling of a hint we got was a story about her shooting a video at Coney Island, which happened to be ‘XO’. But even then, we had no clue an album was coming out.

All of us on 12-13-13

All of us on 12-13-13

 

This was 2013, two years after announcing her pregnancy is true rock star fashion at the VMA’s in 2011. She was being a mom and a wife, taking time for herself. As a fan, I love when my favorite artists sit down and live life. You can’t possibly produce meaningful art without stepping back to experience things from an observational point of view. A workaholic’s vision can be cloudy.

Consumers want things fast and businesses know that. Even in those fast releases, there’s a process companies take. Promo pictures, singles, additional singles if that first single doesn’t pop initially. They film videos, do interviews, the whole 9. But Beyonce’ changed all of that up, single-handedly.

She was innovative with the access she had to her fans and took advantage of it in the smartest way. Everything was instant and could  be released at the click of a button. I’m intrigued to know how excited she was to execute this because she was a part of the record company machine for a long time.

She was in the industry for pretty much 15 years at this point and she was going against everything she was trained to do in the record making business. This was truly when she solidified her place as an icon. Which is crazy to think because she was already such a strong force but this album placed her in GOAT status, no question about it.

TALK YO SHIT, QUEEN!

TALK YO SHIT, QUEEN!

“When I’m connected to something, I immediately see a visual or a series of images that are tied to a feeling or an emotion. A memory from my childhood, thoughts about life, my dreams, or my fantasies and they’re all connected to the music” (Beyonce’, 2013)

Beyonce’ truly has the most spoiled fan base. She just drops amazing albums out the blue, without any notice. Then to top it off, the nerve to have videos to accompany them.

EVERY.DAMN.SONG.HAD.A.VIDEO.

This wasn’t the first time she’s done something like this but once again, the surprise element of it all. These weren’t normal videos. These were high quality, artistic, well thought out, sexy, message filled videos. They all told a story and you could watch it as a movie.

‘Pretty Hurts’ was the start of the visual album. We see Beyonce’ preparing for a beauty pageant. You see a room full of girls, doing all kinds of primping and prepping for the show. Vaseline on the teeth, spraying leotards to add shine, and my personal favorite, Beyonce’ getting ready to go upside a girls head over a blow dryer.

Throughout the video, you see ‘Miss 3rd Ward’ (ode to her hometown in Houston,TX) go through this process of competing and feeling insecure. In a scene where the girls are getting fitted for gowns, the stylist (portrayed by model Shaun Ross) is measuring her. She has a look of fear on her face, a look that all women know.

 

‘Pretty Hurts’ (co written by Sia) highlighted something that we all experience as women. She sings “perfection is the disease of a nation” while we watch her portray a woman who doesn’t feel good enough. The video shows her so immersed in the competition of it all to the point where she’s seen both going to a botox specialist as well as a throwing up in a toilet. Eventually, she loses her the competition to another girl (portrayed by model Diandra Forrest) and we see her home, in front of her trophy case, full of accolades. She throws a fit, while the verse plays. She sings:

“When you’re alone all by yourself and you’re laying in your bed. Reflection stares right in to you, are you happy with yourself? It’s just a way to masquerade, the illusion has been shed. Are you happy with yourself? Are you happy with yourself? Yes”.

This was a powerful message and humanized her in a way that I think none of her albums have prior. You hear a song about insecurities and find yourself relating. But to actually see this portrayed, you really see her pain and the performance was A1. It was also telling at the end of the video, to see her as a child accept an award and give a very mature, calculated speech as a thank you. She has been in a performer role for a very long time. It made me sit back and think about all the things she probably had to face growing up in that spotlight.

All the videos accompanying the album were amazing. As stated earlier, they all told a story and you couldn’t help but to be mesmerized by it all. Ya’ll are lucky, you can access all the visuals on Youtube now. When initially released, they were only available via the iTunes market. I gave her my money because I needed to be a part of this immersive experience. They were all so beautiful.

‘No Angel’ was my favorite visual from the album. So Texas, so Trill.

‘No Angel’ was my favorite visual from the album. So Texas, so Trill.

 The self-titled album was her war cry. It was her telling everyone that she could do it on her own. This album sparked a feminism wave. At this point, some spaces were scared to use that word but when she included the topic in her song ‘***Flawless’, folks paid attention. After singing “I took some time to live my life, but don’t think I’m just his little wife”, she made it a point to include an excerpt from a speech by authoer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie:

“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, “You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you will threaten the man”. Because I am a female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support. But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors, not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in a way that boys are. Feminist: the person who believes in social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.”

 

Even though it wasn’t on the album, it was only right for the visual portion to end with ‘Grown Woman’.

 

We heard the song from a Pepsi commercial she did eight months prior to releasing the album.

 

“I remember being young, tough, brave. I knew what I needed. I was spending all my night and days laid up daydreaming. Look at me I’m a big girl now, said I’m gon do something. Told the world I would paint this town. Now betcha I run this”, she sang over an ahead of it’s mainstream time afrobeat. She knew what she was doing and she knew what she was capable of.

She inspired all the girls who were fans of hers when we were kids to own our grown woman lives. It was inspiring and at the point, we knew damn well Beyonce’ was the queen and everyone had to respect her.

She released ‘Lemonade’ three years later, while revealing even more of herself to her fans but self-titled set the bar. There would be ‘surprise albums’ without her starting the trend. Only she could do this type of thing and make us all pay attention at the exact same time.

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This was, in my opinion, the next wave of her career that took her to an entirely different level than the top tier she was already on. There will NEVER be another Beyonce’. He name and work is in the legendary status like Michael, Whitney, & Prince. She deserves everything that comes to her. Middle finger to the Grammy’s for not giving her that Album of the Year too. We know damn well her album was better than Beck’s.  

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“Misguided Ambition”: The ‘Theranos’ Scam & The Passes They Give

This piece was originally published March 19, 2019 on Medium.com/@lainalovestein

Friday night, after finishing the last episode on my ‘The Nanny’ DVD, I switched my TV over to ABC to catch whatever ‘20/20’ special was on.

I saw ‘The Dropout’ at the bottom of the screen, and a blonde woman was talking. She had piercing blue eyes and a black turtleneck. The image that I first saw on screen was her presenting an idea to a group of people, very similar to my introduction to Steve Jobs. My husband, who was resting in my lap, picked up his head and said: “Yeah, that broad was scamming” before going back to sleep.

I was confused, intrigued and started to turn the TV up so I could listen closer.

Elizabeth Holmes, founder of Theranos

Elizabeth Holmes, founder of Theranos

Elizabeth Holmes was born in our nations capital, Washington, D.C. Her father, a former VP of Enron, held that title along with various positions in government agencies including the EPA. Her mother held positions in government as well, a staffer for the Congressional committee.

Her great-grandmother was the daughter of the founder of Fleischmann’s Yeast. She then married a physician from Denmark, who eventually founded Cincinnati General Hospital as well as the University of Cincinnati’s medical school.

Just on paper, the wealth and privilege was apparent.

Elizabeth graduated from St.Johns High School in Houston, TX with entrepreneurial experience under her belt. She started a company selling C++ compilers to universities in China. A compiler is a program designed to translate various statements in different programming languages into computer codes. So of course she was already on the Ivy League track. She was already enrolled in summer programs studying Mandarin before even graduating from high school.

She attended Stanford University in the fall of 2001, studying chemical engineering. At the end of her first year, she held a job in the labs of the Genome Institute of Singapore. She participated in research revolving around SARS & blood samples.

She became immersed in the world of research and wellness. Even filing for her own patent for a drug patch in 2003. So when she dropped out of Stanford in 2004, she had a plan to move on to bigger things.

Ad for the company Theranos.

Ad for the company Theranos.

For most, technology for your leisure or convenience is a normal thing. With services that literally bring food and water to your doorstep, its not hard to expect certain things at the click of a button.

In 2001, Steve Jobs introduced the first iPod. This was one of the first items I personally used and thought “wow, this makes life easier.” This was where the world was headed. Innovation that created ways to make life easier for all.

In 2004, groups of college kids were invited to a website that was, for all intents and purposes, a little black book. Mark Zuckerburg & Eduardo Saverin founded Facebook in a dorm at Harvard. Zuckerburg dropping out soon after.

Elizabeth Holmes had the same vision of convenience integrated with technological innovation. When she decided to leave the prestigious Stanford in 2004 with chemical research under her belt, she had a plan for something that could level the grounds of healthcare.

As I continued to watch the 20/20 special, I learned more about who this woman that presented her self in a Steve Jobs fashion was. I heard her discuss what her company, Theranos, was doing for modern medical research and was drawn in.

At your own convenience and leisure, you could find out your health status. To put it simply, imagine a USB drive being a needle. You prick your finger to collect a small amount of blood. You then place that drive into a machine (consider it a mini lab) that reads all of this data to give you an accurate snapshot of your health.


Theranos Mini-Lab

Theranos Mini-Lab

Simple, fast, in your home. Everything that people wanted. This was Holmes’ vision and she knew who to gather as resources to help her drive the company further.

By the December following her dropping out of school, she had already raised $6 million toward her ideas.

She was called a ‘Silicon Valley Darling’ and peddled her start up of revolutionary advancements to everybody that could help her. Being her family were heavily involved in government, it was no surprise to me when 20/20 dived into her board of directors. Names including former Secretary of State, George Schultz as well as a retired Navy Admiral Gary Roughead. Men who believed in her vision and in my opinion, were enamored about her ideas and hung on to her every word. She had that effect.

Many people spoke about how inspiring her story was. How amazing it was that this young woman has figured out what she wanted out of life and was committing herself to this wonderful cause that could help so many people.

Her own mission, as she explained, is to enable very early detection of disease, before symptoms become manifest, when there is the best chance of a cure. Her goal is to “make a change in our world, so that people won’t have to say goodbye too soon” to the ones they love after a diagnosis that came too late to do anything about it. (Fortune.com, 2014)

By this point, in 2014, Elizabeth Holmes was heralded as America’s youngest billionaire. She had already made connections with corporations investing in her company and was clear on her way to going even bigger. Walgreens partnered with the company a year prior to have mini labs on site in their stores, to offer with their clinical services. But shortly after being brought into these places, people started having questions. Questions that needed answers quickly.

Poster from the documentary ‘Catfish’, premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2010

Poster from the documentary ‘Catfish’, premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2010

Social media is a part of lives in so many different dynamics these days. The more interactive we are in technology, the more space we have to be deceived.

How people portray themselves on these platforms aren’t honest 100% of the time. I found it amazing how many people found themselves being made a fool of with these online situations. Identity theft is one thing, but someone building actual relationships with people. Building trust, creating bonds, making them feel comfortable during exchanges. But the other party knowing for a fact that they’re lying, it’s honestly one of the saddest things to see.

As we evolve, we learn & start telling stories that relate to our lives. We’re open about our experiences. We have stories like the documentary film ‘Catfish’ directed by Ariel Schulman & Henry Joost (2010). It followed it’s subject, Nev, who fell into a rabbit hole of deception, confusion, & mystery all because he took interest in an art piece that was said to be created by a little girl named Abbey on Facebook.

We witnessed him being made a fool of and faced with the fact that people will lie to you not only behind a computer, but right to your face. As many know, Nev went on to create ‘Catfish: The Series’. It chronicled stories about men and women who had these issues everyday. Living in a fantasy that someone fabricated to take advantage of them. Building bonds, making them feel safe, leaving them open to believe anything they say. I believe most looked at these ‘scammers’ or impostors as bored people who don’t have much going on in their lives.

But what happens when the deceiving party has an ivy league education? What happens when that impostor has influence, power, and ideas? The scammer isn’t behind the screen anymore, the scammer has made it to board rooms. Or in this case, silicone valley.

Elizabeth Holmes lied. Theranos was an idea she had that she knew for a fact would not work. People who were skilled in those areas of research told her to her face at the inception of the idea that it would not work. But she wanted to be known. She wanted a name. Like those ‘sad’ people behind those computer screens we laugh at on television, she wanted to feel important. She wanted to be spoken in the same breath as Zuckerburg & Jobs. She wanted to change the world.

Theranos site results were being questioned by it’s users. It was reported that after getting an ‘accurate’ reading of his cholesterol from the mini lab a week earlier, a man in Arizona suffered from a heart attack. Another user stated that there wasn’t even a USB drive device that drew blood, the clinic was indeed using a traditional needle. Theranos wasn’t doing what it was advertised to do and people were concerned.

Not only were consumers concerned, actual staff members of the company raised eyebrows. A woman that worked in the lab had questions about quality control, she was shut down by the company’s President, Ramesh Balwami. It was found out that Balwami actually had a romantic relationship with Holmes, which made me shake my head even more.

20/20 highlighted two key people in the last of the puzzle that would help reveal more things about Theranos. In 2015 John Carreyrou, investigative journalist for the Wall Street Journal tracked down Tyler Schultz for information. Tyler was a Theranos employee who had concerns about the company and was also grandson of one of the key board of directors, the former Sec. of State.

Tyler went to the extremes of calling Carreyrou through a burner phone because he didn’t want to be found out giving information. Shortly after, Carreyrou published his expose’ about Theranos. I’ll include the link at the end of this, it gives so much more information about the inner workings of Theranos and the outcomes.

Holmes, 2017 at deposition in front of the Securities & Exchange Commission

Holmes, 2017 at deposition in front of the Securities & Exchange Commission


After watching the special on ‘20/20’ and learning that HBO premiered a documentary about it yesterday, I felt my ears get hot.

For some reason, even after all of the knowledge we have about fraudulent people, we find ourselves celebrating them. In recent memory, the Fyre Fest was the latest conversation about deception in the form of a business model.

It’s founder, Billy McFarland, was described as charming, intelligent, and having “misguided ambition”. I heard that phrase used with Elizabeth Holmes repeatedly during the special I watched. I found it incredibly infuriating.

Black & Brown people don’t get the advantage of having that type of ambition. In our communities, it’s illegal and you’re immediately jailed for it. Rapper JT of the duo, City Girls, is currently incarcerated for fraud related activity. But here we are, watching multiple documentaries and series about Fyre & Theranos.

Recently Jussie Smollet submitted a fraudulent police report about being attacked in Chicago and is facing charges. But yet Ryan Lochte did something similar in 2016 and can still laugh about it.

Not saying that one is less serious than the other, I’m frankly amazed at the difference how each story is received. A woman born with power, influence, privilege, still found it convenient to lie and deceive. And here we are, keeping her name relevant all in the name of lies.

No thank you. I’d rather celebrate people who deserve to be celebrated. Let criminals lie in the bed that they made.

In celebration of Women’s History Month, I hope that we can find ourselves championing women of integrity, honor, and respect. The ones that deserve it.

Wall Street Journal article by John Carreyrou:

https://www.wsj.com/articles/theranos-has-struggled-with-blood-tests-1444881901



In Defense of Jorja Smith

This piece was originally published October 22, 2018 on Medium.com/@LainaLovestein

In this current climate of R&B, I’m kind of confused about the uproar most people have about the state of the genre. You have so many options. This is the first time in probably 20 years where we really have multiple subgenres within R&B.

You have the girls who make cute little bops. ‘Boo’d Up’ was a great song, presented with a nostalgic essence. The synthesizers were reminiscent of new jack swing, ref. ‘I Like’, by Guy. This made 16 year olds and aunties alike want to engage in a good little hip swing while singing along. This was both a positive and a negative. Most felt it lacked depth because of the presentation. The writing was smart, very well thought out, and formulaic. It stuck with, obviously.

Behind the next door, you have the deep vibe girls. It’s roots are in the neo-soul movement but Jhene’ Aiko is really the Godmother to this sub-genre. A lot of people don’t credit her enough in the Holy Trinity that brought this whole wave of R&B to surface. Jhene’, Frank Ocean, & The Weeknd all released their ‘debut’ projects within a month of each other in 2011. It was a new sound and birthed a lot of our current favorites. SZA, Danileigh, Ari Lennox to name a few. She empowered the girls who loved Erykah but needed age appropriate content to relate to. Most of didn’t understand ‘Bag Lady’ until our mid 20s but we were able to sing ‘Stranger’ with conviction because of our college boos.

You the traditionalist girls who are HERE with the vocals but with an alternative edge. H.E.R is one of my favorites. She had the aesthetic that the cool kids look for but can sing with the best of them. Gabby got it, and we all know it. A few more ladies I’d put in this category is Summer Walker, Jade Novah, & Teyanna Taylor.

Behind this team, you have the ladies who can’t even be put in a box. They have different songs that don’t fit into the various descriptions mentioned above. Sadly, any girl that doesn’t fit in some boxes are labeled boring. One person that comes to mind immediately in that arena is Elle Varner.

Elle made songs that were simple melodically, but lyrically skilled. ‘Refill’ was cute, it also had a whole metaphor that went over the casual listeners head. No, ‘Refill’ was not about liquor. It was about a girl who was so enamored by conversation with a new guy that she literally was drunk. Love drunk, but drunk nonetheless. The ‘conversational lush’ line was clever.

But after one album, folk weren’t giving her the props she deserved as a songwriter and an artist. Random tidbit: she released her debut, ‘Perfectly Imperfect’ practically a month after Frank Ocean released ‘Channel Orange’ in 2012. She could have set a new standard if her music was considered in another category of R&B.

Her latest single, ‘Loving U Blind’ is damn near a country song. A beautiful one at that. But when you don’t fit in boxes, most tend to just throw you to the wayside or just don’t mess with you at all. Which brings me to my point.

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‘Lost & Found’, the title track from Jorja’s debut, is a crafted tale about young love and the insecurity that comes along with it. Time goes on, you eventually realize it’s just an idea and not worth the stress at the end of the day. Common themes in most of our favorite R&B songs.

Through the whole album, we see these themes and hear songs that explore these topics in a sophisticated way.

Jorja doesn’t completely depress us. She doesn’t get grim, or make us feel bad for being in these situations regarding matters of the heart. She’s mellow and honest. Honestly, I enjoyed her angst in ‘Teenage Fantasy’ more than the average ‘woe is me’ bop.

‘Don’t Watch Me Cry’ is a song that pretty much says “Aye, I ain’t sad cause you gone. Just sad because we had potential.”. That’s the type of energy I need. Allow me to have this moment and move along.

‘Lifeboats (Freestyle)’ is also a song that shows her versatility as an artist. I was pleasantly surprised to hear her mama spittin’ a little 16 bars in the song. She transitioned perfectly between both rapping and singing “Why do we all fall does when there’s a reason we can stay afloat?”

Is she pretty? Yes.

Is that all she has to offer musically? Not at all.

Let’s give more artist the benefit of the doubt before writing them off as boring or dismissing them without even giving them a chance. There are so many artist that I know I’ve didn’t give a fair shot to because of the general opinion of the internet. Tragic groupthink. The internet isn’t the judge nor jury of things we should like or rock with.

Give new things a shot, you might find something you like in the middle of all the yip yap.





The Last Night of My Youth (I'll Miss You, Larry Lovestein)

This piece was originally published September 24, 2018 on Medium.com/@LainaLovestein

Bartenders are nice.

Bartenders are nice.

I requested to leave work early because I had business to take care of. It was July, and I was planning on moving out of my mother’s house three months later. My mom and I went to go view the apartment I’d be moving into. I was nervous, excited, and overwhelmed. But I had something to do that. Something I didn’t know would be one of the last great nights of my youth.

I was 22. My boyfriend and I had tickets to go to ‘The Great Space Migration’ tour. This was a big deal for me. All of my favorite artists were touring together. This was an even bigger deal because tours of this caliber never came through Cleveland. We always got skipped over and every time it happened, I was upset. But not this time. This time, I was going to get to experience something great.

2013 was an interesting year for me. I was in a bad  mood for most of the second half of it because that was the year I thought I was going to be graduating with my undergrad degree.

22 year old Earlaina wasn’t as comfortable with waves in life as she is now. She thought that timelines were to be followed down to the T. She thought that just because she wasn’t doing the proper things that were expected, she assumed she failed. She felt that she was getting older and had to settle for what life had gave her. So, she thought she had to be hurry up and become an adult. That required 1) getting a car, and 2) move out of her parents house. 22 year old Earlaina thought working two jobs was the end all be all. She felt that if she could take care of herself, she was a grown up. As long as she could maintain, she would be okay. Nothing more, nothing less.

I cringe at the thought of me being content with jobs, paying bills, and having no ambition. Have no need to flourish further and create alternative goals for myself. But 22 year old me didn’t see the light at the end of the  tunnel that would be mid-20s. That time period provides a little glimmer of hope and a bop on the head that we all need to light fire under us and fight for more. But she knew people just a year or two younger than her that were following their dreams and visions. She saw the fruit of their labor and admired them.

More reasons that made this show special.

My boyfriend and I were at the bar, talking about our day. The bartender asked what show we were going to. We started tell her and then she gave up special passes to get into the show early. As well as a set list.

Pregaming.

Pregaming.

I immediately fangirled because I saw that Earl Sweatshirt would be performing. There had been an announcement via Twitter that he would miss a few shows because he was sick. But look at God, he was at the Cleveland stop. Great news to start the night.

Around this time, there was this wave of young artists that were crushing it. There was the not quite together but still together collective, Odd Future. From that unit spawned two of the performers that night: The Internet and Earl Sweatshirt. Vince Staples was on the bill as well. I  was familiar with him because of his affiliation with Odd Future as well. He was from LA like the rest of them and made music  with a good amount of artists in the crew. Chance the Rapper had released ‘Acid Rap’ a few months earlier and quickly became one of my favorite artists. It was such a refreshing project and it still a snapshot of my life at that time. Just a kid, no responsibilities, and having fun. I discovered my vices and found myself immersed in these new worlds.

The headliner of the show was someone who I had been listening to since 2010. I was 19 and trying to figure out my next moves in life after coming home from college after my first year. I vividly remember walking from the bus stop after doing some volunteer work and hearing him blare in my headphones “Muthafucka I feel like the hardest working kid in America’.

Mac Millers music was the soundtrack to my life post high school, literally every album or project he released was relevant to me. At this point, ‘Watching Movies With the Sound Off’ was just as twisted and all over the place as I was. But in the midst of the chaos, the album had a centered nature about it.  It was a “Let me get my shit together” type of project. This was where I was in my life.

The boyfriend and I finished up our drinks, thanked the bar tender for the gift, and went upstairs to the balcony. The show started and Vince Staples opened. He had enough stage presence to make us pay attention. Openers always have the toughest job at setting the tone for the show. He did a great job. Little did I know, he would eventually become one of my favorite rappers to this day.

My excitement started building, one of my favorite artists started performing. I’ve love Syd The Kid and Matt Martians since I heard them in my dorm room in 2011. They formed a band, The Internet, and released an EP. I screamed out “Syd, I wanna have your babies”. Obviously, she didn’t hear me from the balcony. My boyfriend and I danced as she sand ‘Love Song’ and we noticed her looking so nervous while performing. Crazy to believe because flash forward 5 years later, she commanded a festival stage effortlessly. I was in attendance during The Internet’s set at AfroPunk last August.

 

The Internet.

The Internet.

After their set ended, even more excitement came over me due to the next performer.

Chancellor Bennet made me love hip-hop again. He was the direct spawn of Kanye West and all the things I loved growing up in the culture. He was energetic, fun, honest, and authentic. When the ‘Good Ass Intro’ started playing, I LOST MY SHIT. I started jumping and dancing along. Some kid joined in with me and it was a party. I danced with my boyfriend as he performed ‘Pushaman’. He did ‘Brain Cells’, a song from his first mixtape, ‘#10Day’. It was a an ode to smoking weed with no remorse. Just fun, young shit. I enjoyed it so much. Still can feel the energy.

Don’t know why this was so small. Androids in 2013 were wild.

Don’t know why this was so small. Androids in 2013 were wild.

By this time, my cell phone died (so no more pictures to add to this post) but I was still amped for the rest of the show.

Initially, Earl scared the hell out of me. The first mixtape of his was something I tried to listen to but when I heard about swastikas on letterman jackets, I had to tune out. Infamously shortly after that mixtape release, Earl was shipped off to boarding school by his mom. He emerged back to the public about two years later with different content. It was mature, evolved, and skilled. Vince Staples assisted Earl on stage while Syd DJ’d. Fun Fact: she actually used to be Odd Future’s tour DJ before she started performing on her own. A random memory I had about the crowd and their reception during this performance was some girl asking was Earl Sweatshirt a group because there were two guys on stage. Poor baby didn’t eve know the purpose of a hype man, *insert facepalm emoji*.

 

During Earl’s set, ‘Milkshake’ started playing and strobe lights started flashing. We quickly noticed Mac Miller on stage, dancing along with Earl and Vince to the classic Kelis track. This was what made him special. He was a silly dude and you could tell the camaraderie he shared with the rest of the acts on the tour. If you watched his show on MTV2, you knew he was a silly dude. Always joking ,doing something for a laugh. This is what made him personable and fun. It was just him having a good time.

We saw stage hands come out and transform the House of Blues stage into what appeared a spaceship, fitting perfectly with the theme.

It’s been so long, I can’t even say I remember the song he opened his set with. Also, I probably was about three beers deep. But one thing I remember, again, was the energy. It was so special. We danced, chanted, and rapped along to all the songs word for word.

He started performing ‘Gees’. The lyrics to the hook was ‘”Suck my dick before I smack you with it”. We noticed a group of older white people next to our section. Mac pointed out that they were his parents and their friends. His dad chanted along with the song, and it cracked me up. You could see how much his parents supported him, his talent, and his dreams being fully realized. It was beautiful to witness.

After a number of songs performed, Mac started a different set within the show.

This was no longer Mac, this was Larry Lovestein.

Larry Lovestein was the funky, soulful alter ego of the rapper. Mac was a lover of jazz and the music he made was reflective of that. It was very reminiscent of the way A Tribe Called Quest, The Pharacyde, and many others included the genre within their music. That’s why I was so drawn to his music initially. It was familiar.

He went from playing piano, scratching on turntables, playing drums, all assisted by The Internet as his backup band. The highlight of this section had to be the stripped down version of ‘Objects in the Mirror’. You saw that not only did he love hip-hop, he loved music in general. The talent his exhibited during that set really showed us where he would eventually go with his music. Hip-hop at the core but mixing these extremely musically inclined elements throughout.

At the end of the show, of course the crowd demanded an encore. This was when he emerged again, this time in a Cleveland Cavalier Shawn Kemp jersey. Even though it was just a jersey, that was a ton of respect shown to the city, and anyone time someone shows love to my lil city, my heart is warmed.

He sat down at the piano and started playing ‘How Does It Feel’ by D’Angelo. He asked ‘Anybody know this song?” I screamed “I DO!” and he acknowledged me from my balcony seat.

I was amazed by the show and it’s a memory that I’ll always hold dear. The show represented the last night of my youth. What made it more special was that I saw young people just like me, living out their dreams, following their passions. To this day, every one of those artists have grown in the craft and are still authentic.

Mac recently released, ‘Swimming’. Another amazing album added to his already stacked discography. I vividly remember watching the video for ‘Self Care’ around 3am one night, amazed by the imagery and music. The transition to ‘Oblivion’ was both sad and triumphant in an eerie way.

When my friend texted me the news of his passing, I didn’t know what to do. I was sad like I lost an actual family member. I grew up with Mac. I listened to him since I was 19 and here I was, 27 and still following his music. Just that Monday before, I put the ‘Kids’ mixtape in my car cd player and had a long kick it session with myself. His music was an important part of my decompression time. His passing really affected me. He was my youth.

It’s not my place to worry about why it happened. It’s not my place to know about how it happened. All I know is that I’ll miss Mac.

I adopted his alter ego, ‘Lovestein’ as my pen name in 2013 and I haven’t changed it since.

He represented being young, talented, and what it really looked like to follow your dreams. I’ll never forget what he stood for, and I hope the world never forgets neither.

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