Drake, March 14th, & the Only Child Syndrome.
This piece was originally published June 29, 2018 on Medium.com/@lainalovestein
“Yesterday morning was crazy. I had to come to terms with the fact that it’s not a maybe. That shit is in stone.”
Last night, or morning, however you choose to look at it, one of the Gods of the summer came out of hiding. Aubrey Graham released his much anticipated fifth solo album, ‘Scorpion’. I had an early day so I was up before the crack of dawn, browsing through the project.
I must admit, I have a bit of a short attention span, so I wasn’t quite ready to dive into the 20+ song tracklist. I skimmed over to Side B of the project. I called it the ‘Songs for Women’ section of the album. Going through it, I got the songs I expected. I’ve been listening to Drake in the summer for almost 10 years. He gives off a specific vibe that you’re already prepared for, but you still want to listen. He always has one that grabs your feelings by the neck, hold it gently, and whispers in your ear.
But once I got to the last song, I didn’t feel the need to text my fiancé in an emotional state, saying how much I missed him. This time, I was walking through my apartment making sure I grabbed my birth control pills because I got scared.
The song ‘March 14th’ closes out the album in a fashion that I personally wasn’t prepared for.
If you’re familiar with the verbal sparring match that happened between Drake and fellow rapper Pusha T earlier this month, you’re probably already familiar with the song, ‘The Story of Adidon’
the song (embedded above), discussed multiple things surrounding drake, his racial identity, ghostwriting shots, and even his dad. but what was most surprising of all was what was revealed in the song. here’s a bit of the lyrics:
“since you name-dropped my fiancée. let ’em know who you chose as your beyoncé. sophie knows better, ask your baby mother. cleaned her up for IG, but the stench is on her a baby’s involved, it’s deeper than rap
we talkin’ character, let me keep with the facts. you are hiding a child, let that boy come home. deadbeat mothafucka, playin’ border patrol, ooh
adonis is your son”
naturally, the internet blew up. this was scandal. so many jokes, memes, and even podcasts poked fun at the situation. here’s a clip from the popular show, ‘the read’.
The entire time, Drake was silent. There was no rebuttal, no tweet, no Instagram posts, nothing. Eventually the situation was ‘deescalated’ but an OG call by the legendary J.Prince, of Rap-A-Lot Records. He’s also the father of Jas Prince, the man who had a hand in discovering Drake and giving his music to Cortez Bryant of Young Money Records.
I for one, didn’t know who or what to believe. I always made jokes about Drake being ‘community penis’ but who was I to really pay attention to this man and his love life. Let alone his personal business about bringing a child into this world. I tuned out of those conversations but still giggled at the jokes I saw on the internet.
But here I was, a month later after the Pusha song drops, listening to ‘March 14th’, nearly in tears at what I was hearing.
If you listen to Drake’s music, you know that he’s never shied away from discussing his childhood. He was an only child, as well as the product of a single mon and a here and there father.
In ‘14th,’ he states:
“I used to challenge my parents on every album. Now I’m embarrassed to tell them I ended up as a co-parent. Always promised the family unit. I wanted it to be different because I’ve been through it”
I could related to Drake’s childhood woes because I was one of those kids. Wondering sometimes why your parents weren’t together or how it would be to have the traditional parenting situation. I was lucky to gain amazing bonus parents though, so luckily I did see healthy familial bonds formed. But when you didn’t witness the traditional family growing up, sometimes you have this sense of fear that you won’t give that to your kids and that’s scary.
I vividly remember crying one day, telling my fiancé how happy I was that I would be able to give my future child something I’ve never had. That solid foundation with both biological parents in the household. No divorces, no drama, and no issues that I would place on my future kid because they saw mom and dad were there.. Both together and happy.
But this wouldn’t be the case for Baby Graham. At least that’s how Drake describes it. I got emotional because every line of explanation, you hear regret for the lack of stability he could provide. He spoke about the situation with the child’s mom and the fact that he would be repeating the same cycle with his son.
He goes on to say:
“I don’t want you to worry about who’s house you live at or who loves you more or who’s not there. Who did what to who ‘fore you got here”
If I had to give Drake advice, I would say this:
We are not our parents. We aren’t their mistakes. We aren’t their problems and we don’t have to do things how they did it. A lot of people from no so great homes have this running fear that they won’t be able to provide the love and care for their future kids because they don’t even know how healthy homes operate.
The beauty of new little lives is that they are here and just ready to receive the love from their parents. They don’t know the issues, the scandals, or the fights that happened along the way. They just know mom and dad and they know they they’re loved.
Even though I’m not one, I see the beauty of being a parent and the fact that you’re contributing to building the foundation of this little life and it’s up to you to make sure they know healthy and happy love. Just because they parents aren’t together, doesn’t mean it’s doomed.
Kids are a blessing, and even though there are times when you don’t think you have it in you to be the best for them, you do. Those abilities are there, and the love and strength will only get stronger.
Happy Father’s Day, Drake.