The Importance of Support Systems

This piece was originally published June 21, 2018 on Medium.com/@lainalovestein

I was browsing Instagram this morning, per usual, and came across a picture that made smile.

Last night, or afternoon, whatever Paris time is, Virgil Abloh had his first Louis Vuitton fashion show. He was given the title of artistic director for their menswear line back in March.

I’m not a fashion snob. I barely shop and my go to’s in my wardrobe consist of oversized tank tops and cargo shorts. But I’ve followed Virgil for several years now.

My introduction to him was through my favorite rapper, and his friend, Kanye West. He was a part of the brain trust that was the creative agency, DONDA, serving as creative director for that company as well. He also made noise in the fashion world prior. He interned for Fendi with Kanye in 2009. He also founded a menswear line called Pyrex in 2012 and also most notably in 2013, founded the brand Off-White.

So when I heard about the LV connection, I knew this was major but I also wasn’t surprised to see it. Everything was leading up to this moment in his career.

If you’ve followed the bullshit surrounding Kanye and his ‘press run’ last month, you’ve probably heard a thing or two about his relationships with his collaborators in the fashion world. His interview with Charlamagne Da God made me raise an eyebrow. He led with a question about Virgil and how he felt about his new title with the prestigious fashion house.

Kanye responded by bringing up both of his collaborators for multiple years. In addition to Virgil, Don Crawley (Don C.) was always closely connected to Kanye and his creative endeavors. Both Don & Virgil have forged their own names independently in the fashion world. They both created their own lines, working under corporations that Kanye has worked with in the past. Don has an ongoing relationship with Nike, a company openly discussed his issues with after creating the Yeezy sneaker. The LV connection was evident too, he created a shoe with them in 2008.

It appeared a number of people in the media were trying to pit these two against each other. It felt like through their questions and comments, they were trying to spark tension between his friends who were once his partners. They were now working for the businesses Kanye once called ‘the gate keepers’.

This was wrong on so many levels and it bothered me like I was a friend of theirs watching this unfold.

Historically, Black people have always been in competition. ‘Crabs in a barrel’ syndrome is what most call it. As soon as one person is doing better than you, the natural instinct is to bring someone else back down to your level.

Kanye’s response to Charlamagne’s questions about if he feels a way about Virgil and Don’s success was this:

“They got families, bro. You know, these corporations, they provide an opportunity. These are my friends, they have families. If I’m not gonna provide them with the same opportunity, I’m not gonna stand in their way either.”

No malice, no side talk, no bringing them down, just support. Black men supporting each other’s goals, dreams, and success.

That’s why the moment pictured above was so beautiful to me.

I’ve always been a person who wanted to champion my inner circle. I have a best friend who owns her own brand, FitThickBree. My fiancé owns his own company, Opal Beatrice Creative Solutions. I also work closely with my other best friend for our own creative endeavors related to writing and pop culture. The WonderTwin network. We procrastinate horribly though, but we’re making strides to get our thoughts out there.

The most important thing about being a friend is being a support system and making sure you’re giving them positive feedback and praising their endeavors. Friends give each other positive affirmations and give them love and applause for following their dreams and passions. So when you see your friends with those dreams fully realized, you will get emotional. In a way, you were invested with them on their journey. If you’re close enough to them, you’ve see the genesis of their ideas and you’re happy to see them succeeding. It will bring you joy to see them doing what you’ve always knew they could do: be great.

I’ll leave you with this thought:

Love is hard to come by. Most of the time even in our own families, it’s hard to get. A friend is something special and you want to always give them all the love and support you can because if you call them a friend, you must show it. A friend doesn’t get jealous, a friend doesn’t tear you down. A friend always wants to see you doing your very best.

Be good to your people, be good to each other.