Self-Deprecating = Love...for me.

A person in my formative years taught me a lesson at 14: ‘Words create worlds”.

What does that mean to you? To me, it represented something I carried with me throughout life. Phrases like “speak life” and “choose your words wisely” are things I live by.

But, there’s always a flip side.

We all have quirks, things most won’t understand but we find comfort in.

self deprecating. adj:

modest about or critical of oneself, especially humorously so

We live in a time where the idea of being perfect is just there, constantly. All the friends at all the parties with filters make us forget how our faces look. We think edges are supposed to be laid at all times. Lashes on point and poppin for the world to see. Pulled together, perfect, all the time.

I can’t.

I choose to joke about myself and my shortcomings to feel better about myself. A coping mechanism to beat others to the punch developed as an adolescent.

As an adult, it humbles you.

But why would I highlight my own issues, self perceived flaws, and things I don’t like about myself if words create worlds? Why not use language to empower myself and lift me up?

I don’t know dawg.

I find myself understanding the concept of honesty gets your further than avoiding. And you can’t avoid yourself, might as well be honest.

I find joy in being real. I have days when I look crazy in my front camera. I trip over my own feet walking to the train. I fear talking to strangers at the expense of me showing my personality v. my representative. It’s one of a very quiet, reserved person with a big personality. The contrast is…interesting. Most of the time I rather just be quiet.

Thus, me writing is the perfect outlet.

It’s truly humbling when you’re able to snap back to reality and take yourself not so seriously. I find love in myself by having joy discussing the things that I want to work on and be better. Deprecation and self love for me are intertwined because I laugh, evaluate, and work on myself all at the same time. A comedy show, a horror story, and a therapy story all in one. A fun time.

As always, thank you for reading.

Peace,

Laina